my downfall

you see me smiling, but behind those smiles is a heart that is crying..
you see me patiently staring, but you woudn't realize behind those stares is a person who's in pain...
im not perfect....
i do have my weaknesses too.....
i maybe have a strong personality but i am not numb, not to feel hurt or anything......
i do have issues but i don't want anyone to be part of it, i always assume that i can solve it alone.......
but i was wrong........
i'm not strong enough to solve it on my own.........
~september 10, 2007~

turn back time

location: inside our car going back to makati
mood: mixed emotion
when i was on my way back to makati, with my ipod on, staring outside the window of our car, i was smiling while looking at the children walking back to their home.. for them another day was over, another lesson just ended, another homework to take home.. those were only their worries, the thinking that they would have an exam tomorrow, or recitation maybe. i started to reminisce my past, my elementary., high school, and college days, were i would only worry about the next days to come, the plates to submit, the deadline of my papers, the recitation to ricite on. but now, there are a lot to worry about, i don't know, when i enter to the real world, my life became complicated. more pressure, more stress, more pain and more frustrations.. i keep on asking God to give me strength so that i can surpass all the frutrations i've been facing. and still, i keeps on believing that God has a great plan for me.

i love this song

teardrps on my guitar

he's near yet so far

oh my god!!!! sheesh! hes soooooOOOO YUMMY tlga! hahahaha *winks*

my goal: to know him more!!!! hahahahaha

agenda: to somewhat flirt with him but in a nice way...*pano kya un!* but honestly he'e HOT!

motivation: to be near him as much as possible! hahahahahaha

hay.. if only this thing can happen why not!! but he told me nmn na he's the nicest guy around so ill give it a try.. *sheesh* but i think he can only offer is his friendship. well for me its enough at least i can talk,see him everyday!

hes's near yet so far.

hay abby... hanggang pangarap ka nlng! hahahaha! dream on gurl!

tired... but happy

im enjoying my work right now..maybe for sooo long i was a bum, took a vacation, and now woah! im loving it! hahahahaha. i met lots of new friend, colleage and etc. sheesh! but anytime soon i might leave so i have to cherish the days im gonna spend working there. heeheehee

start of my 2007...

life can be so cruel.. you just have to deal with it.. and you have to learn how to dance with it..
i've been broken this past few weeks but i need to stand up and pull myself from the grave that life has given me.

need to pick up the broken pieces and make it whole again.. but the cracks would still be there.. cant be healed by any thing/anyone at this point of time..

you can see me laughing but behind those laugh is a mourning heart.. im good at it.. hiding what i feel.. masking my life so that nobody can see me weeping..

takot...

hindi ko maintindihan kung ano itong pumapasok sa utak ko ngayon. mali man itong nararamdaman ko wla ako magawa dahil puso na ang nagdidikta.mali man itong gagawin kong pag-iwas pero kelangan para hindi na ako masaktanmali man ang mahulog ang loob sa kanya pero un ang nararamdaman ko ngayono marahil dala lang ito ng pangungulila ko?
lintik na pag ibig kung ano ano at kung sino sino ang napupusuannapapagod na ako sa nararamdaman ko.nagseselos ako na hindi naman dapat.mali! pero nararamdaman ko
minsan naiisip ko na ano bang mali sa akin bakit naghahanap pa rin ako ng ibapanibago, mas bago,sa ugali kong ito natatakot na ako na baka sa huli ako ang iwanan.takot...
mahal ko na ba sya o ito ay isang paghanga lang?